I used to get really upset that my time was wasted with the scam calls. It was about ten years ago that I decided why not have fun with the real person scam calls.
I will admit that I have more fun with this than I should. I know some of the people on the other end of the phone have been hired to read a script and asked to make cold calls in the hopes that there will be people who believe that it is really one of the big 4 tech giants trying to help the little person out. I have relatives who will ask me in all seriousness, “Are you sure that isn’t [insert name of company].” My response is the same, “The big 4 pay people to wait for us to call them.”
Let’s move on to the fun part: I try to follow four internal rules. First, I have a standing I will not get angry with the scammer. Second, I try to keep the scammer on the phone for as long as possible. Third, stick to one story and concentrate on that. Fourth, wait to laugh until after the call has concluded. Pretty simple.
My favorite incident of a scam call happened roughly 10 years ago. The call came in:
- “Hello ma’am, I am from Windows center and your computer is putting out odd notifications. Is your computer connected to the internet?”
- I wouldn‘t know. I don’t know how to use the computer. It was my father’s.
- “Well, ma’am, we are receiving odd signals from this windows computer. Can you go to the computer and look?”
- I can’t go and look. I told you, I don’t know how to use a computer.
- “Is there someone else in the house that uses the computer? Maybe someone else turned the computer on.”
- I am the only person home. Oh, come to think of it I believe George was on the computer.
- “Oh, that must be it is George there? Can I talk to George?”
- I am sorry George is asleep right now in his favorite place in the sun. George doesn’t like strangers.
- “Augh”
- George is terribly smart he gets on the computer and orders his cat treats all the time.
- “Wait, what? Please repeat that.”
- George orders his cat treats all the time but he is always leaving the computer on. He’s very smart you see.
- “Cat…A CAT is using the computer!” (audible frustration is heard plus a lot of incredulity.)
- Yes, George. The cat.
- –Click–
It is my hope that this post has helped your day a little.